Tuesday, December 20, 2011
addendum
more and more, i'm starting to see mainstream media, entertainment, things that look pretty, and the agents of consumption in general, as insidious tools by which our minds are numbed and drawn away from larger political injustices. i am trying to not be placated. it is important to me to not be placated. i will not be placated. be skeptical of pleasure.
indefinitely detention
how to change the world is a question that i think and self flagellate about a lot. a lot a lot.
lately i've noticed a change in my perspective which may be a function of adulthood, or upward class mobility, or perhaps both. that is - a shift in thinking about how things are terrible for myself, to thinking about how things are terrible for other people. it's amazing how much the world widens when you do so, because no matter who we are we cannot experience the entire terribleness of the world in just one body. and all of a sudden, peering into the fabric of society, you just see so many holes that need to be patched up.
it has been deeply paining to me to live in a proclaimed democratic society that is not postracial or postfeminist, that is blind to issues of class, and that undertakes authoritarian measures against people expressing their first amendment rights to assemble. simultaneously i feel the call to act, the call to do something, while being caught up in my generational fear of losing my source of income and ability to support myself and the people i love. i realize that i can't do everything at once all the time, so i persist in making changes when i can, preserving my integrity, striving towards my dream of being an artist, tending the metaphorical garden that my circumstances allow me to keep, but at the same time, feeling deeply pained by everything that is still left to solve, within and without of myself.
this is why adults are so grumpy and can't sleep at night.
lately i've noticed a change in my perspective which may be a function of adulthood, or upward class mobility, or perhaps both. that is - a shift in thinking about how things are terrible for myself, to thinking about how things are terrible for other people. it's amazing how much the world widens when you do so, because no matter who we are we cannot experience the entire terribleness of the world in just one body. and all of a sudden, peering into the fabric of society, you just see so many holes that need to be patched up.
it has been deeply paining to me to live in a proclaimed democratic society that is not postracial or postfeminist, that is blind to issues of class, and that undertakes authoritarian measures against people expressing their first amendment rights to assemble. simultaneously i feel the call to act, the call to do something, while being caught up in my generational fear of losing my source of income and ability to support myself and the people i love. i realize that i can't do everything at once all the time, so i persist in making changes when i can, preserving my integrity, striving towards my dream of being an artist, tending the metaphorical garden that my circumstances allow me to keep, but at the same time, feeling deeply pained by everything that is still left to solve, within and without of myself.
this is why adults are so grumpy and can't sleep at night.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
things i've thought, but have not written about
the wintering in my soul, the immense capacity of life for change, the tenuousness of hope, the brightness of the future. how we got to where we are, a stopping point, a layover until some force sends us hurtling off to our next adventure.
what it means to be just, what it means to be real, what it means to be true.
what it means to be just, what it means to be real, what it means to be true.
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About Me
- carola rola
- I unofficially take photographs and charm people for a living. Officially, I received a B.F.A. from Cornell University, and am now on the West Coast making websites, planting gardens, and damning the man. Be my friend at carol[dot]why[dot]zou[at]gmail[dot]com.