mandatory shoegazing

friday workplace subversion day continues (i have to do this. being around business students makes me feel way too straight laced, no pun intended). when in doubt, repurpose your old and disgusting chucks with some acrylic paint.

i looked up this morning and saw a sliver of light

when left to my own devices i'm drawn to the following: quietness, white space, constancy.

the good, the bad, the ugly

if you haven't yet caught on, i'm been trying for a while to make sense of my texas upbringing. the veneer of toughness with which i meet everyday life has become an object of curiosity to my southern california peers. why do you constantly think the world is out to get you? they ask. and they're right - i have very little to fear in the state of free love. but i lived for many years in a state that joyfully electrocuted 361 inmates before 1977, and boasts a record 466 lethal injections since. i'm only starting to realize the lasting impact the existence of a death penalty can have on an personal level. it didn't matter that i didn't think one should kill others - the state did. judging by its dogged interpretation of the 2nd amendment, it also thinks other people should be able to kill you. the idea of survival takes on a radically different tone in this light. it's no longer about feeding your family. it's about not getting shot by your neighbor.

i hear you like the punk rock

i have no intentions of becoming a style blogger, but this grrl on the bus was too awesome to only exist in my memory. last time i saw her she had a dollop of elmer's glue on her left ear - a consequence, as some of us know, of flipping one's head upside down, massaging in said glue and vigorously blow-drying to reach desired levels of spikiness.

from the vault

the current political standoff over reproductive rights is frightening, and sickening, and makes me wish we still lived in a climate where we can say the following about the right wing. but we're kind of afraid of calling evil by its proper name nowadays.

"fuck has as many connotations as does the word art and I’m far beyond the point of sitting down and casually complaining about this problem to the right wing control freaks who are the main offender of destroying art. I won’t calmly and literally complain to you I’m going to fuckin kill. I’m going to fucking destroy your macho, sadistic, sick right-wing religiously abusive opinions on how we as a whole should operate according to your conditions. Before I die many will die with me and they will deserve it. see you in hell.
love kurdt kobain."

—journals

p.s. sign a petition here.

look at the stars / look how they shine for you

star painting, 2011

'star painting' consists of 9 sheets of paper in which a map of the stars is depicted using pinpricks. backlit by a lantern and situated outside, 'star painting' creates a micro cosmos on earth, while paying homage to the night sky it faces.

new work

untitled, pen/hair/tape on paper, 2011

you may think this is only a sketch, but like a photograph of your thoughts, it has already developed. my hair is long, and i am losing it everywhere.

happy birthday to me

i'm 23 today. so young and so old, all at once! odd numbers and i have a good relationship. this is what my girl holiday has to say:

"You'll display your visionary powers, and others really catch on to your train of thought. In honing your leadership qualities, you'll shape the future. Good luck in May will broaden your financial horizons. Family additions happen in June. July brings a welcome change of pace. Relationships will be a source of fun and adventure. Leo and Gemini people adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 13, 2, 44, 38 and 16."

this year i want to take my accumulated wisdom, and work more for causes i believe in. reproductive justice, local and global environment, youth development, and ARRRRRT! hold me to it.

current love: psych rock gospel songs

chalk this one up to paradoxical statements that aren't, upon closer examination, a paradox. i've always had a problem with spiritual truth being spoken by white people in high places, but not with spiritual truth itself. in fact, i've come to see spirituality as a way to hold all the parts of yourself that don't otherwise exist in a rationalized, structured society. doesn't it make sense that spirituality is experienced deepest by those who have gone into the darkness and come out the other side? and in the narrative of american history, what region has been more battered from within and without than the crumbling american south? a region struggling to stay alive through decimation and poverty, yet a victim of its own historical actions. these two songs stake out the last claim before desperation and hearken back to what i think is the original purpose of rock and roll - saving your soul. ignore the ill-advised britney spears slideshow.