name and be named

on a whim i looked up my name in a baby name dictionary. carol. english for song, german for man. a free man, but a man regardless. compound this with my middle, or given chinese name, a homonym for music that means an inner ladylike grace. the former chosen by me on the cusp of being naturalized as a united states citizen; the latter chosen by my mother on the eve of my birth in china. i don't think i quite believe in god, but i do believe in fortuitous constellations of events, and it seems my identity as a music-obsessed gender dysphoric was determined from the very beginning.