peanut butter to your jelly

i was around 5 or 6 and reading judy blume's entire oeuvre for children when somewhere in the fudge series (maybe?), i learned the concept of 'the bite'. 'the bite' was illustrated with butter, but also applies to jam, peanut butter, nutella, and/or honey. 'the bite' is the philosophically perfect part of a sandwich, and it occurs when you slather a piece of bread with sugary goodness, fold it over, and take your first bite right smack dab from the center of that fold where the topping gathers up and its gooeyness is enclosed by soft crustless bread. it is the absolute yum.

also, today at work i convinced a teenage girl that rihanna, and no one on this earth, can "deserve" a beating from chris brown. activism, bitches!

these words are not appropriate for children

among other things this weekend, i had a dessert that looked and felt like the physical embodiment of bataille's story of the eye. it was a panna cotta that came served in a small bowl featuring two egg-shaped globules set atop a lake of chocolate. one of the globules was a scoop of cream delicately melting over a bed of crunchy espresso flakes. the other globule was this mysterious gelatin that bounced expectantly when you poked it with a spoon, and when the rim of the spoon dared to push through its outer hymen, the entire globule shivered, trembled, collapsed as a stream of milky liquid trickled out slowly, spreading over the entire bowl. it was sweet, and cold, and sticky, and soft. it made me want to do indecent things.