july 4th: a retrospective

independence day typically defines a new year for me. new year's day always felt too anticlimactic, a cold afterthought tacked onto the end of a gluttonous christmas season. but independence day, signifying the birth of our national consciousness, always filled me with a similar hope about the coming year as the fireworks exploded over me and my family, our bodies recumbent in the cool summer grass. i spent this year on the shores of santa monica next to the pier, drinking wine with one of my best friends from college and watching firework displays occurring down the southern california coastline. the fireworks this year felt like pinpricks, their light eclipsed by the glow of neon from the pier which lit the ocean with an eerie effulgence. it felt appropriate to my current state of living. here i was, staking out my meager picnic blanket shelter at the edge of a desolate ocean with one other human being, our existence submerged beneath a towering hodgepodge of plastic lights, our eyes feverishly watching the fireworks crackle in the distance.

playlist suggestion: songs which include the word 'heart'

heart of glass, blondie
cheated hearts, the yeah yeah yeahs
listen to my heart, the ramones
heart shaped box, nirvana
metal heart, cat power
this heart's on fire, wolf parade

for extra credit, please provide a paragraph analysis of each band's symbolic interpretation of your primary central organ.

the miseducation of carol why zou

telling a co-intern today that i could never want children like she does because my work is my children. listening to the lonelyhearts and thinking that the ecstasy of music will always, always surpass the ecstasy of sex. wondering what to make of this new development in which i conflate all my compartmentalized drives (procreative, libidinal) with this thing called "art", without yet having found an adequate expression. meeting people who are well meaning and practical, and strongly desiring conversations about truth and beauty.

los angeles freeway system: a haiku

today, a car crash
traffic halted, slowly passed
like silent mourners

thinks that tengo que buscar mi propia pasion en la vida, de nuevo. they say that art is a private moment made public. so it sucks if you're shy.

and, you know, god

i really need to investigate the possibilities of making my own band t-shirts. been wanting to guerrilla screenprint my own dresses. mummy keeps yelling at me to find a j-o-b (to which i say, baby steps! one illustration and one desperate plea at a time!).

zero

finished my submission for the yeah yeah yeahs' t-shirt design contest, along with a hidden layer in which i proclaim my everlasting love and admiration for the band, complete with david bowie references and adjectives invented from transitive verbs. i know, i know. now life can return to normal, aka drawing more pictures of bands and pretending that i'm friends with them. elizabeth peyton's orisha, is that you?

also, drawing nick zinner's hair is lots of fun, and should be attempted by everyone at least once. i knew i had a reason for digging guys with big messy hair. RAWR!

superstar

oh, you know, just another day at the costume house picking out props for the boss's impending photoshoot.