in search of nirvana

in interviews you're just the heroin addict next door, the boy i always knew. but on stage you become something beside yourself, a energy conduit bridging human listeners and a spiritual whole. gosh i have the urge to paint some youtube stills.

mixtape

the soft crooning voice came on the radio and i realized that she had always been one step cooler than me in all parts of life. but it would be wrong to mistake coolness for happiness. or unhappiness for coolness, for that matter.

2 things conducive to lovers

1. portals that allow instant passage from one bedroom to the other.
2. portals that let you disappear into a nether-space in which time passes more slowly, while the rest of the world and their busy schedules stands still.

factoid

my given chinese name is a homonym for "walking on luck", idiomatic for "lucky". it is also a homonym for "walking on clouds". my parents had an inkling i would turn out to be a beatnik (or that my artistic production would thematically concern walking and broken homes AHEM). i also tend to view most developments in my life as consequences of fortune. most of the time, life is good.

for the first day of christmas my true love gave to me

a romance novel written by a conceptualist artist parodying the subject matter of one of my favorite painters (and paintings). he's a keeper.

also, because i was learning to fuse aesthetics, neurotic behavior and social justice at age 5

roommate: i eat red and brown m&ms first. what about you? i bet you eat the yellow ones.
me: well, actually, first i separate out all the m&ms out by color. then i eat from the colors that have the most m&ms in the pile, starting from the highest, until all the colors have an equal amount of m&ms in them. then i make rounds and eat one m&m from each pile in order* so that they will always have equal amounts in them, until the m&ms are gone.
roommate: wow.
me: you know what i was really into? skittles.

*this was not mentioned in conversation, but i used to also line my m&ms up according to rainbow color when i performed this last step. this process is an excellent insight into my larger way of functioning.

words of wisdom part II

"you will find yourself performing poorly at your regular job, because you are losing sleep most nights making art."

GOD, anthony baab (nee beard), how were you so right about EVERYTHING?!